i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
