we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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