im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My feet surprised me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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