I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
