I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she peed on how many people?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
