I am in a vortex of obligation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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