worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
