There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
