I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
