pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
