That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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