I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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