The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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