There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
