i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
