Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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