So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
