A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
