so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
whose ass print is on the piano?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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