If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We are two peas in an std pod
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
