I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
