I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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