Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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