I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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