matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
