So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
