Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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