as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
