Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
