i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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