i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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