Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
