if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize