it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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