So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm jealous of your bromance
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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