I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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