he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
