I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
