How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
