Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
