he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dicks are not precious.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
