took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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