Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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