pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
