Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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