Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
