The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
