I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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