Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
