I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
