Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Please, let me fuck your mom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
