I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
