I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
