She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
