Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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